Helping children develop a ‘growth mindset’ is a powerful way to enable them to develop an optimistic outlook. A growth mindset, a term coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that the way children (and adults) think about problems or challenges can be developed with effort, perseverance, and the right strategies. For parents of children aged 3-11, using thoughtful language choices can make a significant impact on fostering this mindset. Here I would like to explore practical ways to use language to support a growth mindset and make connections to the Montessori approach, which aligns beautifully with growth mindset principles.
The Power of Language: Fostering a Positive Outlook
As parents, the words we choose can profoundly shape how our children view themselves and the world around them. Here are some strategies that we use in school that encourage this growth mindset, and some examples of where we might use them.
- Praise Effort, Not Results
Instead of focusing solely on outcomes (if the work is done correctly) we comment on or highlight the effort and strategies your child used. For example:- Instead of: “That work is fantastic”
- We say: “I can see that you worked/concentrated really hard on that”
- Encourage Perseverance
When your child faces a challenge, reinforce the idea that struggles are part of learning.- Say: “I can see this is tough, but I love how you’re not giving up.”
- Reframe Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
Help your child see mistakes as a natural and valuable part of growth.- Say: “What can we learn from this? What might you try next time?”
- Use the Power of “Yet”
Adding “yet” to a sentence can transform a fixed mindset into a growth mindset.- Instead of: “I can’t do this.”
- Say: “You can’t do this yet, but with practice, you’ll get there.”
- Ask Open-Ended Questions
Encourage critical thinking and problem-solving by asking questions that spark curiosity.- Say: “What do you think we could do to solve this problem?”
By consistently using this kind of language, it can become embedded in your child’s own internal monologue. This gives them a greater chance of taking the more optimistic viewpoint when faced with a challenge. It is not a magic bullet, but can certainly help your child develop resilience, and the confidence to tackle new challenges.
The Connection Between Growth Mindset and Montessori Principles
The Montessori approach to education is rooted in fostering independence, intrinsic motivation, and a love for learning—qualities that align closely with the principles of a growth mindset. Here’s how these two approaches complement each other:
- Praising Effort Over Results
In both growth mindset and Montessori settings, the emphasis is on the process rather than the product. Montessori educators often acknowledge a child’s dedication to their work rather than simply praising the finished product. It is fair to say that praise is not given out without thought at our school, so when a child is praised, it is genuine, and we do consider what each individual has done, and would benefit from, in our language choices. Often, in Montessori schools, we say that the work is the child’s reward. We can see this with all our children – they choose to work and become deeply engaged with it. But that does not mean we do not see the opportunities to help them reflect on their efforts and choices, as that will benefit them greater in the long term. - Seeing Challenges as Opportunities
Montessori classrooms are designed to encourage children to take on challenges at their own pace. When a task seems difficult, children are supported in viewing it as an opportunity to learn and grow. The Montessori classroom is set up to allow challenge to take place at every opportunity. Children can select activities, so they can set the level of the challenge they face. Time taken on an activity is not limited, so repetition, new strategies and approaches, trying one more time etc, are all capable of being carried out. This helps children take on challenges without pressure – they are not judged on the outcome, are praised for their efforts, and can take as long as they need. They are also able to ask for help – and receive it. - Collaborating on Problem-Solving
Montessori emphasises respecting the child’s ability to think and act independently while providing support when needed. A growth mindset approach mirrors this by asking children how they would like help, rather than solving problems for them. When approached by a child asking for help with an academic or social problem, we might ask “How do you think we can fix this? What would you like me to do to help you?”. Re-framing the request for help in this way places the emphasis back onto the child. This shifts the agency back onto the child. They see that the adult is not going to solve the problem for them, which would be a passive outcome for the child, but rather they are actively thinking of solutions themselves. Of course, as adults we do help to the degree needed, model solutions and help the child manage that. But what we value is that the subtle change to ‘What can I do to help you?’ empowers the child to think more deeply about the problem and see themselves as having the ability to enact change.
Helping your child develop a growth mindset is one of the most impactful gifts you can give them. By focusing on effort, celebrating challenges, and using language that reinforces a love for learning, you’ll set the stage for lifelong success. The Montessori approach integrates these principles into daily school life, emphasising effort over outcomes and empowering children to solve problems independently. Together, these approaches provide a powerful foundation for raising resilient, curious, and capable children.
